Did I once fear

did I once fear

the silence of the dark

I long now to stifled

wrapped 'round in still

quiet is not cold or pale

it is a warm red room

hot and stupefying

a drug that brings relief

shut up

shut up

let me lie still

and hear a great abyss

wide and open

constant, cruel

noise comes

my nerves

are as taut as the plucked strings

on a violin

waiting

let me sleep

let me find oblivion

that my ears may be no longer torn

with shattering sound

(See, my older younger brother, as opposed to my younger younger brother, decided he was going to raise birds. Parakeets to be precise. In his bedroom. In our very small mobile home, with paper thin walls. Did you know that parakeets, if you don't take care of them consistently, SCREECH ALL DAY AND NIGHT? I have never really liked birds since. On the bright side, I didn't have to share a bedroom with him - If I recall correctly, it was around this time that my older brother started sleeping in his car...)

Red tail-lights--

red tail-lights

string along the road

my eyes bunch them

into clusters of fluorescent glare

4\20\99

(you can do a lot of fun things with your eyes when you have awful eyesight and wear glasses)

New Mexico fields with foothills

     new mexico fields with foothills

it’s not loneliness

but peaceful emptiness

the fields lie quietly, dreamily

at the hill’s feet

silently they exchange thoughts

slowly knowing

learning

being

dwelling

forever

(This is my other first poem. Hey, I was 12, ok?)

Mother--

mother

i am bone of your bone

flesh of your flesh

your voice, warm with wisdom

continually echoes

the mind is ruler over the body

the will can tame the desire

wise words

tell me, where did you find such wise words?

I am enlightened now

beyond the reach of your mean mind

i find myself wondering how

uneducated, untaught, you say such things

in the final analysis

(they tell me it is a clinical disorder)

my mind, as you so strongly said

has ruled my body

and now,

i wish that i could kill my aching sphere of thought

 (just playing with words, remember? I like my mom, even if we drive each other nuts. No, this is not about her. I was just playing!)

My garden--

My garden is heavy-rimmed

folded and skirted with green

bared to the sun and sky

pitiful, young and still

the weeds grow thick

blossom soft

beneath them worlds settle

ants scurry

leisurely june-bugs trundle to and fro from naps

mosquito hawks hover

like planes above a mystic jungle

4/3/01

Witch moon

Witch Moon

burning with a dull light

behind clouds

of rain

Song for the spring

There is a red cardinal

  feather-red

  winter-red

sitting on an oak branch

  old limb

  new leaves

contrasting with the green earth

  spring’s here

  green growth

the sun is sweetly golden

the cardinal is red

the earth is gladly green.