Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Stories from the library: This is Wednesday; or, Don't eat the daffodils!

May 2013:

This one is worthy of a post all to itself. So, Wednesday. Always a somewhat crazy day. I did storytime in the morning, with no cd player, then ran around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to finish all the other stuff I had to do before I went on the information desk at 2:30 and all the middle schoolers showed up. The following exchanges ensued:

Girls: Ms. Jennifer, we were looking for you, we have something for you!
*They present me with a daffodil*
Me: Aww, thanks
Girls: And you know what, they're edible too!
*produce more daffodils and start EATING THEM*
Me: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU CRAZY THOSE ARE POISONOUS!!!
Girls: Uh...they are?
Me: I'm pretty sure, most bulbs are.
*Girls race off to bathroom to spit out petals and rinse their mouths with much panicked giggling*

Later...I go upstairs to check on the teen room

Me: Did you girls wash them all out, nobody actually ate any?
Girls: Yeah, we rinsed our mouths. But J ate a whole one.

(J is a high school freshman with poor impulse control, even for the average hs guy. He has just recently been allowed back in the library after being kicked out for an extended period of time b/c he annoyed our director beyond bearing by doing the Harlem Shake on one of our tables)

Me: WHAT
J: Uh...are they really poisonous?
Me: Yes. I googled it.
J: I didn't actually eat it. Much. I rinsed my mouth out.
Me: If you feel sick, go outside. I am not cleaning up vomit again.

Later...director kicks out J and other boys.

*Boys wander out, jostling each other and using inappropriate language (which is probably why they got kicked out in the first place)*
Me: Don't let J go off by himself in case he has convulsions!
Boys: Yeah, sure.
Other patrons: *stare at the crazy librarian*

Then I had a lengthy conversation with the same group of girls about why they had to wear shoes in the library, culminating in my tried and true response "If I have to explain why it's not allowed, you're not mature enough to be in the library by yourself" and I added that we were like a restaurant - no shirt, no shoes, no service. Which was a bad idea b/c they immediately wanted to know how much they had to be wearing for it to qualify as a shirt. I finally just laughed and told them to leave, so they went out and hung out on the back steps of the library, which lead to the staff entrance, so when I was leaving we somehow ended up discussing eating kool-aid and the Cinnamon Test and why we weren't going to do it at the next Middle School Madness.

And that was Wednesday.

[Addendum. Really shouldn't have said that about the no shirt no shoes no service, b/c a bunch of the boys showed up with no shoes on Thursday, reference assistant told them they couldn't come in without shoes, and apparently the girls had passed on what I said and this somehow inspired them to all start stripping off in the lobby. Well, just their shirts, but combining the skinniness of the guys and the fashion in low-riding pants...so I had to go yell at them that THE LOBBY IS NOT A LOCKER GO CHANGE IN THE RESTROOM which is five feet away. Oy. And then we called the police, but that was a different group of teens.]

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