Stories from the library

April 2018

Listening to the beep of the self-checkout, I realized I was hearing a little voice accompanying it. I looked over and saw a little curly head peeking over the top of the desk. 

Every time their parent swiped a book across the pad, they were announcing "TA-DA!"

RFID is endlessly entertaining.

The follow-up story to this is that I got so used to the "TA-DA!" when showing kids how to use the self-checkout that when I went to vote, slid my ballot into the machine and it beeped I automatically said "TA-DA!" Fortunately for my (minimal) dignity, the election volunteer sitting there is mostly deaf.

Stories from the library

 April 2018

Toddler to mom "Candy?"

Mom "there is no candy!"

Me "umm.... I'm eating peppermints"

Toddler "Want peppermints!"

Me "sorry, the last one is in my mouth"

*life is full of disappointments*

Stories from the library

March 2018

I am reading John Himmelman's Chickens to the rescue to the four year olds at school. We all really REALLY enjoy pumping our fists and yelling "chickens toooo the RESCUUUUE!!!"

But then I realize that most of them won't know what a watch is. So, when Farmer Greenstalk drops his watch down the well, I change it to "dropped his cellphone down the well." 

Then a small voice from the back pipes up "what's a well?"

Stories from the library

May 2018

Looking out the window at our insect water dish, a shallow bowl with glass marbles...

Kid: "Is that weird dish for the bees?"

Me: "Yep, it's like a birdbath but for bees and other insects. The pebbles are in there so they can get a drink without drowning."

Kid's parent, with interest: "I didn't know that. I told Kid they were a liar."

Me....

Well, we all learned something today?

Stories from the library

June 2018

 Me to 2nd grader, "I can't wait to see your class for their field trip at the library! We're going to do a really cool and messy art project."

2nd grader, looks at me dubiously, "I don't like messy things. Or anything that gets my hands messy. Or art projects that make a mess. I don't like getting clean afterwards either."

Me, "so basically you like to preserve your equilibrium at all times"

2nd grader, "what?"

Me, "you don't like to change"

2nd grader, still dubious now that I have been revealed as the creator of mess and not just the purveyor of awesome books "can I just read a book instead?"

Stories from the library

 June 2018

A middle school kid tried to con me out of a fine amnesty coupon for a friend (who was not in the age bracket for the coupons). 

I said, "No, you're just going to give it to your friend."

Kid gives me a shocked look, "You don't know that!"

Me, "Yes, I do. I can read you like a book."

Dramatic pause

"Because I am a librarian!"

(Yes, the older friend did get their fines taken care of.)

Stories from the library

 July 2018

Visiting a young fours class. I had distributed beading bags, with a few beads and a piece of string. I'd also brought pipe cleaners, which are easier for little hands.

One young miscreant, having strung his beads on his two striped pipe cleaners, announced he was going to put them in his backpack.

Me "Let's twist the ends so the beads don't fall off. What is this going to be? A crown? A necklace?"

Kid, looks thoughtfully at his pipe cleaners in either hand and STICKS THEM IN HIS EARS

Kid "ouch!"

Me "what did you expect??"

Kid "I wanted to have donkey ears"