Monday, September 26, 2011

Rabbit

     Rabbit
           Mourning at My Desk

my brother bought you
     (heedlessly, with sudden vague compassion)
because you were too old to be “so cute”.
     And with you
bought the silent sharer of your mute existence.
     And you were
incomprehensibly, brought here
as a compensation
for the still white body in the pen
     And the children fed you
as they chanced upon the thought

then, as heedlessly as you were bought,
the silent twin of your black duo died.
     And there you were.
     And there was I.

i fed you,
gave you drink.
     (we were, in our strange way, the same)
we lived a silent survival.
not from pity! did you find
existence in my hands
but from a shared realization
of helpless dependence.
arbitrarily, I chose.
     And you had life.

i was your physical breath
     And asked nothing:
no silent stillness
to touch your sleek fur
     (you asked, like me, no soft caress to live)

carelessly,
they gave you death
leaving you gasping
in the burn-dead heat of the sun.
you twisted
convulsed
on the brown rug
     And slowly stiffened
until you became
an unnatural hard lump of flesh
brushed with satin fur

animal
     (dead-dumb your eyes)
why should I care?
i who never owned you,
i but gave sustenance
     And suddenly became
your last touch.

i dug a hollow
in the rocky dirt
my eyes misted grey
     (i gave no tear)
my tears were the drops
of hot sweat on my back
as I broke through roots
     And crushed rocks.

i lifted your body

i had never touched a thing so dead before

i heaped the dirt upon you
     (your face was not covered, the earth touched it)
     And breathed a mourning chant
in rhythm to the shovel swing
for I am still alive

animal, I never called you mine.
why then, do I see
your glazed eyes transposed
over the piano keys
     (ever and ever there)
as I play the Pathetique?

(This was the only poem I ever spent much time revising. Obviously, not enough time. However, I will say that once you've seen a rabbit convulsing to death from heat stroke, it kinda sticks in your head. Especially the screaming.)

Monday, September 19, 2011

Tornado

                Tornado
whirling
     hissing
           windstorm
                coming
                     sky
                          so crazy
                                green
                                     blue
                                           gray
                                                white
                                                     wind is
                                                screaming
                                           tearing
                                     leaves off
                                trees and
                           ripping up
                     the grass
                then whistling
           coming    
     high
hot 
hissing
           train whistle
                harsh sound
                     ripping
                           black cloud
                                surging
                                     picking
                                           pieces
                                                of earth
                                                     up and
                                                throwing
                                           them down
                                     then it
                                passes away
                           rain pours
                     making    
                shaking
           frightened
     trees
close tight
driving
           beating
                it lulls
                     then rushes
                           again
                                struggles
                                     to outdo
                                           and pile
                                                wreckage
                                                     higher
                                                admits                                                     defeat
                                     and ceases
                                quietly
                           the sun
                     walks out
                and shines
           upon a
ruined
scoured
     world.


2/-/99

(It's supposed to go back and forth, but I couldn't get the formatting to copy quite right. Oh well.)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Winter

a white sheepdog silently beckoning
calling his flock to follow
covering the blue sky and the summer sun
with the dingy gray of their wool
a gardener
blustering through clothed in gray and black
angry he still deals gently with his plants
giving each an icy coating
then forgets them
and brusquely
noisily
bitterly
leaves not returning forsaking them to their fate
a silent woman draped in chilling white
heavily burdened with her baskets of crushed ice
wielding her willow-bough broom
she brushes her burden across the streets and yards
smiling to see the children laugh and slide
she passes on

then comes the wind
from lonely icy planes she sweeps down
not understanding her own cruelty
even the sheep in the sky shiver at her
but I know she is waiting for me
to slip silently out of my prison
and come to her
to receive willing
the message of pain
she has brought:
for me,
there is no spring

(In defense of my teenaged self, please bear in mind that in Texas the first frost releases all the mountain cedar pollen, which made me sick. Constantly. It's hard to be cheerful when you spend most of the winter (and spring, and summer, and fall - I'm allergic to everything that grows in Texas) not being able to breathe)

Monday, September 5, 2011

Water Chant I

Frost sparkles on grass
earth is turned to steel.
The trees tremble, imprisoned in crystal.
Weeds slowly bend, hiding their faces for shame
that people strolling by should see
their yellowed stems against the white dirt.
Water stares at the sky which deals it death,
hurling bitter winds and chilling frost until the pool
lies
motionless
frozen in horror, gazing with leafy eyes
at the grey sun.

11/16/97

(I vaguely remember there being more Water Chants. I have no idea what happened to them...possibly retitled something else?)