Monday, May 28, 2012

In the mist

everything is dull
gray
misty
sad
the mist distorts things
makes them seem to be
what they are not
a few chirps from some brave bird
are all I hear
the rain is drizzling
a shameful defeat
every gleam of light is hidden
in the mist
like the cloak of night
it comes
covers
smothers
all rebellion
all hope of victory is gone
an old wizened tree
in place of the strong oak that once was
in the sunlight
and now we: those who once fought bravely,
are in the mist

2\6\96

(um...yeah, I don't know where that was going)

Monday, May 21, 2012

It is my loss

it is my loss
that you, who once were fair
are now cold earth
your breath mere air.
I had thought
you were of different kind
your flesh immortal
deathless, your mind
glowed
like tintillating stars
one look
worth molten gold
you are now still
dead, molded, rot
has taken over
the glad thing that once you were

9/28/01

(Yep, Teasdale and Millay)

Monday, May 14, 2012

Shall I go walking on--

Shall I go walking on?
the habit grows
of biting back the tears.
One evening gone,
“And there shall come soft rain”
I plant my feet
And let the wind go rushing by
With it the voices
Crouch and gambol past
I am encased
In a rectangular box of glass
the teratoid visages I cannot see
I am alone
with me
struggling to cast off my reserve
and weep out toward the stars.

6/28/99

(Definitely had been reading a lot of Sara Teasdale and Edna St. Vincent Millay)

Monday, May 7, 2012

Did I once fear

did I once fear
the silence of the dark
I long now to stifled
wrapped 'round in still
quiet is not cold or pale
it is a warm red room
hot and stupefying
a drug that brings relief
shut up
shut up
let me lie still
and hear a great abyss
wide and open
constant, cruel
noise comes
my nerves
are as taut as the plucked strings
on a violin
waiting
let me sleep
let me find oblivion
that my ears may be no longer torn
with shattering sound


(See, my older younger brother, as opposed to my younger younger brother, decided he was going to raise birds. Parakeets to be precise. In his bedroom. In our very small mobile home, with paper thin walls. Did you know that parakeets, if you don't take care of them consistently, SCREECH ALL DAY AND NIGHT? I have never really liked birds since. On the bright side, I didn't have to share a bedroom with him - If I recall correctly, it was around this time that my older brother started sleeping in his car...)